A Little Navel Gazing: Liz's Nickname Story

It was recently brought up on somebody's facebook wall that I need a nickname and would I, perhaps, mind being called "Lizard"? Well, considering that I never intend to think of myself as a slow, scaly creature with a flicky tongue, I would prefer not to be referred to as such. So, for the benefit of Newt and anyone else who wants to know, I will here relate my nickname story.

I have been called many things throughout my life. Mostly, I have been called Elisabeth. I had a very short period in third grade where I wanted to called "Lisa", and another one between fifth and sixth grade where I wanted to be called "Libby." (I hate that name now!) And when I was sixteen and I worked at Wendy's, one of the managers christened me "Pokey" because I was so freaking slow. (I'm waaayyyy to ADD for fast food work!) To make this summary much shorter, I will just provide a list of stuff I like to be called and stuff I don't like to be called below.

Stuff I Have Been Called That I Like

1. Liz
2. Elisabeth
3. Beautiful Girl (Unfortunately, the person who called me this was female and very weird!)
4. Lizziebelle
5. Sweet Pea
6. Punkin'
7. Honey
8. Sweetheart
9. Miss Liz

Stuff I Have Been Called That I Don't Like

1. Lizabitch
2. Hey, You!
3. Zabeth
4. Pokey
5. Libby
6. Lizard
7. Stephen
8. Libby Lou and Tigger, Too!
9. Daughter of Chuck

Actually, no one ever called me Stephen but I wouldn't like it if they had!

So, now let me explain what people usually call me nowadays and who has the right to call me what:

The vast majority of people, including co-workers, acquaintances, my parents' friends, people who haven't seen me in a while, etc., know me as "Elisabeth." Why? Because this is what I have gone by since the sixth grade. It was at that point that I decided that my parents wouldn't have given me a perfectly good name if they didn't intend for me to use it.

So, for you who are visual learners, here is part of a graph showing how many people in my life call me "Elisabeth."

I call this area the "Elisabeth Zone." It is clearly the biggest since the majority of people I know dwell in this zone.

Then there is a smaller group of people including friends, running mates, close co-workers, and those who have seen me naked. These folks call me "Liz." This reality is depicted below. I call it the "Liz Area."

This section of the graph is smaller because there are fewer people who dwell in this area. But, for those who read this blog, fear not. By virtue of the fact that you guys run with me, you automatically qualify as my "peeps." "Peeps" clearly dwell in the Liz Area, so "Liz" is the proper nickname to use if we are running buddies.

Now we come to the smallest, and most exclusive group. I call this group the "Lizziebelle Society" because they are so few that they hardly count. The "Lizziebelle Society" consists mostly of my parents, my aunts and uncles, and my grandparents. Lizziebelle was what my family called me when I was little, and only those who have known me since then are really even aware of it.

Beware: If you wish to call me "Lizziebelle" atleast one of the two following things must be true about you

a) You have known me since I was a baby and you're older than I am,
b) You love me. I mean really love me, like Tristan loved Isolde, like meat loves salt, like I love buttercream frosting, or like Monica loves her laptop. We're talking serious love here, and I have to feel the same way about you. If b) isn't absolutely true, then you're better off staying in the Liz area where you belong. :)

So, to put it all together here's what we have:

BUT, if you are wanting to create a new nickname for me that has not been tried before, following are a few suggestions. (Please don't let Scott spearhead any of these. That would just irritate me.)

Stuff I Might Like

1. I can't think of anything. Damn!

But I'm always open to suggestions.

Thanks for listening!
Liz